some days being in china is the most frustrating thing in the world. stuff that we consider necessities at home become somewhat luxuries here

 

like hot water and a working phone

 

these things stop working at home too - to be fair. but it never ever ever takes as long to fix as it does in china.

 

soemtimes being in china is simply an exercise in frustration.

 

most of the time i love it here.

 

i am very angry at the moment. but these things pass - they always do!  i am going to sit on my couch and drink a coffee and remember all the things i love about being here.

 

 

me, isi, anna, juju, mark and ali went to qingdao for the weekend.

we took the train. i hate train rides but this time it was quite good. we had lots of food and played some games that isi's mama and bubba sent from aus.

 

it rained and rained.... and showed us how beautiful it could be just as we were leaving.  but good times dont require good weather and we had a fabulous time neway. upon arrival we were discovered by a hotel tout. no often these experiences are not good.... but this time we found a lovely man who took us to a great PINK hotel. He gave us discounts on our rooms and a free ride there.  we had ocean views. it was beautiful.

 

it was raining but the boys (being boys) went to play in the sand neway. and boys being boys they had a stone skipping competition. i think juju won... but sometimes memories play tricks on us.. but as far as i am concerned he was the stone skipping on the ocean champion.

 

we found the 'better known cafe' and ate burgers with cheese and bacon and other delicious food. the lattes were to die for. and we ate there many times. i think we were their short-term most regular customers.

 

we went to the new york bar and had expensive drinks whilst listening to a cool band.  it was really cool there. they had some ballet for us to enjoy and it was a beautiful place.

 

on the second day isi, anna and i went on our own private tour. the hotel has a tour guide (for free) and a driver for 20 yuan. we went to the pearl market and bought beautiful jewelary.  the tour guide even did bargaining for us - we were so fortunate to stay at this hotel

 

we picked up alice (who arrived that afternoon) and ate at the 'better known cafe'. nathan and his lovely girlfriend, julia, were also in town so we met up with them at the night market. we bought more stuff and then tried to find a restaraunt. harder than you would imagine. but in the end we ended up at tudarli (korean chain place). food was good. company was better

 

on the last day we saw some beautiful weahter and what looked like the entire population of qingdao (who had been staying home due to the weather). we went to the supermarket and bought cheese and other such things that are in short supply in zhang dian.

 

on the train trip home we got upgraded to best class for 10 yuan. and watched movies, played games and had a little rest.

 

i had such a lovely time in qingdao. next time i will go is to see isi off. ali is coming with me and him.... mainly to hold my hand after his departure. we will stay in the same hotel for the same price (120 yuan - cheap as) even thou it is high season and they could charge us much much more.  i will be sadder next time i will be there cos isi is going home. but i can think of much much worse places to be sad in lol

 

i look foward to going back. my friend chen chen is from qingdao and is already suggesting cool and relativly cheaper places for us to go out and to eat at.

 

i spent a small fortune. but it was well worth it!

 

the destination was fabulous - even in the rain. the food and alcohol was wonderful. the hotel was  really great. but it was the best time ive had in a while cos of those of you i went with or met up with

 

lots of lvoes to u

ruru

 

 

 

 

when you are onto a good thing.... u should hold on tight (but not too tight), cos everyone needs some space.

 

that fighting over bullshit... is bullshit

 

sometimes you should stay, sometimes you should leave. if the world makes it really easy to do one (or the other).... you should take the easy option.

 

take joy where u find it.

 

be true to yourself. even if it hurts. even if it hurts others sometimes

 

forgiveness is a selfish act

 

being alone and being lonely are different by definition

 

do things that make you frightened.... cos they are good for you...... cos the result is what you want

 

be clear about what you want.... and if necessary ask for it.

 

tell people what you need..... if you need it. mind reading is harder than you imagine

 

accept apologies - if you believe they are truely given

 

make it easy for people to make up with you............ if making up is what you want

 

leave when its over. do it with some grace. but leave all the same

 

doing things you really dont want to do ..... will be worse than you think it will be

 

if they say the power or water will be turned off at a certain time in china.. does not mean it will happen at that time lmao

 

maybe i no some other things... but i cant think about them now.

 

i know that i truely love isi and ali and my helen and my treena and my viki and boydie, my cherub, my kam and lei lei, my gary and my many others

 

that love is better than the other. that my life is enriched by your presence. that i dont want to live this life without you - but that survival instinct is high... so i guess i can live without you. i just dont want to. so ill be good to you and keep you close

 

gotta prepare for class. gotta get some breakfast and morning tea.

 

xoxoxxoxxxo joy is a choice.................. i choose it... it makes me happier. if your not choosing it.. perhaps you could consider it as an option

 

ruru

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

please!!!!

 

its easy to be in the present when u dont think of the future. its hard to be here when its the future ur thinkin' of.

 

for the past eight months the furtherest ahead that ive been thinking was next week lol. for most of it ive only been thinking of today and tommorrow.

 

probably why i didnt manage to go away during may week. probably why i havent managed to do much!  im trying to formulate plans for when i get home. for the order with which i will accomplish things... like be at home, go to wales, be in australia... live there?

 

its cooler today.... it would be really easy to sleep today away. but i have class and i have things to do.... but all i wanna do is sleep!!! but im awake now. so thats a bonus

 

i adopt kam today. he's my newest baby brother. i got lei lei (and i think ive always had u cherub) and then there is my lei lei. and my older and most fabulous of brothers - thats u gary.

 

ohhh head rush.. must shower and eat

 

love to the world. especially to isi and ali

ruth

 

 

i thought that id have more time here in China. i thought at least another six months or so.. but i guess it isnt meant to be.  the university made the contract negociations so hard that i gave up and decided to go home instead of talking about it further. 

 

i think it will be a good move.  im sad. i wanted more time - in china and with my friends here. but going home doesnt feel like a punishment (which it did before).  i will be able to spend time with my friends and family in NZ and it will be easier to see isi... and for us to make plans for our life.

 

i will come back to china.. maybe in january of next year. that is not so far away. i will be able to see my friends and see some more of china.

 

i will also go to wales to see my annabird and her baby (i still cant believe that she is gonna be a mama in the next few months).

 

so im sad and im excited and im..... i dont even know. i only just changed my mind, my plans.

 

maybe i feel lost... a little. and now i gotta pack which makes me feel tired. but i feel excited too.. like something is starting. i guess every end allows a new beginning. so ill enjoy what is left and look foward to what is to come.

there is a book titled women who do too much.. or something along those lines.  i didnt read it, i was too busy!

 

sometimes life is overwhelming. i dont know where the time goes. i sleep, i eat, i teach,i prepare, i spend time with my friends, my  boyfriend. but at the moment anything that requires thinking is too much.  well thinking about my plans anyway. i need to book flights, a holiday. i need to spring clean my house (before summer hits and its too late to officially call it spring cleaning lmao)

 

i am tired and a bit worn out. im getting run down. yet still i promise others i will do more....... but i have no more at the moment. yet still i try - bless me.

 

isi and ali and all the others are looking after me. anna, ronnie and ali excused me from dinner.. we had such lovely plans but i just couldnt. sometimes i think its so sad how we can let down those who care for us, but be totally present for others (like students). maybe its just easier to let down those who love us - they understand, they look after us and they wait for us to come back.

 

i had such a sore stomach before and now i have a headache. ive been asleep since 7.30 and its 12.30 now. ill go back to bed soon and get some more sleep. i have only four hours of class left - thank god. then its holidays. when i have some time to stop doing - i think the world will improve in general.

 

i write messages of love to my friends in these blogs. i say it to them too (in person). i think it is so important to let those you love - know that you love them. it is easier to do this for people who are here - physically. i love many others who i have been neglecting shamefully.

 

id tel you id make it up to you - but i guess i cant. but that doesnt mean i dont love you and think of you and wish you were here.

 

i miss my mum and dad. i miss aaron and caroline and treena and annabird. i miss boydie and vicki. my head is full of ache - i miss many others as well.  as soon as i have a moment im gonna send you emails to let you know how things are. i want to tell you about isi. he's such a joy in my life. i want to tell you about my friends and family in china. i write these blogs and hope you read them - to hear my news, my feelings, whats up with me.

 

to my helen. i love u. so very much. i feel very lucky to have u in my life - my friend, my sister, my very good friend. thanks for your help and support.

 

i feel tired and sleepy again. guess its time to go back to bed and wait for the day to start again. just four more hours. this is not a long time. its forever.... its something in between.

 

ruru

 

 

isi, love u babe. im so happy with you. i feel safe and free at the same time. i think  being with you is possibly the best decision that ive made in the longest of times.....happy one month anniversary babes... i thought i was over celebrating such things. but life is such a celebration with you - so i guess ill get into the flow. im so looking foward to our date!! our first n all lol... and i really really cant wait for dinner and a movie

 

juju - u bring peace and ease to the world. u try to right the wrongs and bring a little more peace to the world. for this i will remember you always and love u a long time.

 

zhen zhen... u r such a beauty and it has nothing to do with your pretty face or ur sexy self.  im glad we can be friends in our own right. i am so happy that we can talk... im sorry that it has to be in english. im feel so lucky that your english is so good - and ashambed that i have not made enough effort with my chinese

 

i wanted to put ur photos with ur comments. but cant! im so shit at this blogging with photos thing. will get the cd back and sort it out thou

 

ali..... u r the constant in my life. i dont even want to know what life would be like without you... but then u already know this lady

 

ronnie........ when i see you , i see me as an adult. i think we are very similar. good thing i think you rock...ur fun and i really enjoy your company. i see you as my girlfriend..........id say dont go.. dont leave me... but then again.... i want your life to be filled with happiness and joy and i think helpn ur cam in thailand could bring that to you...

 

brian... i see you and ronnie together and see a team. its beautiful. thanks for the help with my apartment and my life.  im glad you like me now lmao

 

anna.. cheers for the food babe. your cookin' is getting well good. im glad we can talk. its such a nice change. im sorry we were not close last semester.... i think we will for the rest of this one... CALL UR MAMA!!!  there i go again sticking my oar in where its not wanted..... but then again if i didnt how would u know that u were talking to me.....ill see you later y'all

 

hong - glad u went to kfc and came to the lecture from hell. you surprise me and make me laugh. two things i truely appreciate in others

 

 

weifang was so cool. isi was like a little kid in a candy shop. running around doing crazy stuff... see the photos!  at first i thought... oh my god, what the hell is he doing??? but then i thought in for a penny in for a pound and got well into it. 

 

we had another party. it was fabulous .. so far as i remember!!  my boys came. they were well cool. its nice to spend time with my students without me having to be their teacher.....(although i did that at the party as well - but then i always do!!)

 

we had a brunch at lunch time on the sunday. anna cooked the best eggs and isi and ali beli cooked as wel. it was delcious.l so many of you came.... to my house.... and ronnie cleaned it after (your the best ronnie). it was like my extended family came and we had such a lovley time. we should do these things more often.

 

we tried to fly kites. but the wind did not come. and it got boring really fast. isi was well into it so i stayed.. but i was bored so after an hour or more of boredom i left...... it woulda been well cool if we'd managed to fly ur kite babe. althoguh it was cool that anna got her bee buzzing round for a bit. and ill always have the picture in my mind of zhen zhen and her one kwai kite..... u took such joy from it sweetp.... it was beautiful.

 

i put al the photos of weifang and the party on cd..... had to go downtown to do it. i was so tired i nearly fell asleep in the taxi... but isis mama wanted to see the photos - and he wanted her to see them.. so i did it anyway.

 

oh well.. best get ready for class..

 

love to you all

 

ruru xoxox

 

 

 

i feel happy.. so very happy. i feel like the people here are becoming like family. but i no that the life of this is so short now. maybe two months... so i feel the loss... the devestation.....around the corner.  normally id be busily withdrawing to save myself .... but im tired of what i was getting in my life. so ill try it another way this time. ill be present. i will participate and ill love u all more, rather than less.

 

you will go, i will stay. so we best make the best of this day (and all others). i want to create really happy memories with you all (and others than ive mentioned previously).... ill never be far from you. you can call on me whenever u need. ill love u all while ur here and ill love and miss you when ur gone.

 

 

 

 

 

 things have happened. time has past. its been good and great and better than that. ill tell u some..... ill not tell you the rest (but only cos i too tired too)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ive been here a while now. feels like a long time.... in the greater scheme of things it really isn't.  i had some good times, some great times and some other times

 

at the moment the good times are ROLLING!  happy happy days.  my ali is doing well and she is looking beautiful. isi is sweet and kind and hilariously funny (had such a great weekend - cheers babe).... lei lei is a joy as is zhen zhen. yang ping is my cheeky jinan coo (and more to the point abscent - where the hell are u lady)... anna and i have a great time watching sex n the city and getting our hair and nails done (finally got those bloody nails off.. grrrr)... dazza you sing like an angel....

 

cherub..... is good .... its been like the good ol' days - (long may the good times roll).. emi is sweet and the best date.... tiger and xm are awesome.. but then again thats hardly news (xm come and get your clothes from ali's).  of course i love ronnie and bri (thanks for the fotos, the endless cups of coffee, tea, sympathy laughs and good times)

 

id write some more but i gotta go get my ali some breakfast and print some stuff for class (fingers crossed bout the printing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

 

love to you all... if i havent writen bout you and my great love and adoration sorry. will do so at some later date - just running out of time... .not love for you xoxoxo (or then again if i dont love and adore you..................tee hee lmao)

 

 

 

 

 

well printers and technology in general. got up at 6 to print off the stuff i need for class today. was gonna be such a good class. had a good article on house husbands then was gonna talk about it and stuff.. maybe debate it.

 

but NO.... my printer is out of ink. i thought... thats ok.... ill just use the one in the resource room... but NO! it doesnt work. im crap with technology so now i have nothing to take to class. 

 

fan-fuckn-tastic! its well hard to fill in two hours when u got nothing to entertain the kids with.  lifes not fair - well i already knew that.. but still i prefer when its being unfair to others lmao

 

gonna be a long long day (unless things improve - which there is a good chance they will) but still!!!!!!!

 

well pissed off at the moment.

 

please think of all the obscenities you know....... and say them in your head.. (well only if ud like to know what im thinking)

 

hope the world is treating u better than it is me

 

ruth xoxo

 

 

so tired.. im amazed that i have the strength to breathe.. or that i remember to it for that matter

 

its my own fault. how on earth did i get this this grand old age and still not have the sense that i was born with???

 

hmm must be the day for questions.. some answered (cheers babe) and others ..... to be answered another day

 

love to you all. if any of you are half as happy as i am....... you must be fucken happy

my students like me.... does that mean im good at my job?

 

thats all i got this mornin. too tired to be witty or irreverant or flipant for that matter.

 

except maybe another question..... if a person is nice to my face and rude behind my back (but im not s'posed to know) (but i do....!) am i still required to be polite?  in fact once i no,can i be as rude as i like?.. can i barely acknowledge their existance......its not like this person is of any consequence to me

 

  id ask my mama....(cos she always knows the answers to my questions) but she not that impressed with me at the minute...so i might give that a miss.. so i ask you!!!

 

in fact if i dont become a more attentive daughter.. i might not have a home to go  back to.. love u mama and buba.

 

my lei lei and anna's birthdays tommorrow.  happy days.

im happy. really...... maybe for the first time.. in a very long time.....

 

but im so tired. life giveth with one hand and taketh with the other.  time for bed.

 

no need for you to make comments alice. love u xoxoxo

sometimes its the old songs... that remind you of the good times..... and the bad times.... but i guess even the bad times get a 'gloss' on them after enough time passes. these are some of the songs from the best times and the worst times of university.  the cranberries........ loved to listen to them when i was young.

 

 

If you, if you could return
Don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade
I’m sure I’m not being rude
But it’s just your attitude
It’s tearing me apart
It’s ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn’t be so confused
And I wouldn’t feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

 

 

 

Understand the things I say
Don’t turn away from me
Cause I spent half my life out there
You wouldn’t disagree
D’you see me, d’you see
Do you like me, do you like me standing there
D’you notice, d’you know
Do you see me, do you see me
Does anyone care

Unhappiness, where’s when I was young
And we didn’t give a damn
’cause we were raised
To see life as a fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Ol he liked me, does anyone care

Understand what I’ve become
It wasn’t my design
And people everywhere think
Something better than I am
But I miss you, I miss
’cause I liked it, I liked it
When I was out there
D’you know this, d’you know
You did not find me, you did not find
Does anyone care

Unhappiness was when I was young
And we didn’t give a damn
’cause we were raised
To see life as fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Ol he liked me, does anyone care

Does anyone care

hmmmmmm..............................

 

just ask anna.... in new zealand (and the rest of the civilised world) we use shag as a euphanism for sex.... so when anna said that she used to win medals in the father daughter shagging competitions i was a bit concerned.

 

we enquired further to see exactly what the hell she was talking bout.  so she showed us.....hmmmm..... she moved foward and back in a kind of rocking movement...looked like shaggin' to me

 

so we enquired further.................... we should remember that some things only happen in america.

 

lol... apparently in the US - shag means to swing dance tee hee!

 

 

 

 

THE FUNNIEST FIRST DATE THAT I HAVE EVER

 

>> If you didn't see this on Rove Live, I hope you're sitting down when you
>> read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!!
>>
>> We have all had bad dates, but this takes the cake. This just tells you
>> how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on "Rove Live" with Rove
>> McManus. Rove went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first
>> date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date
>> experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took
>> the prize!
>>
>> She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy had
>> taken her skiing in the mountains near Mt Hotham, Victoria. It was a day
>> trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had
>> never met before.
>>
>> The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home
>> late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she
>> gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.
>>
>> They were about an hour away from anywhere with a toilet and in the
>> middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she
>> did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow
>>doing, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and
>> let her pee beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
>>
>> They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants
>> down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing,
>
>> so she let her butt rest against the rear bumper to steady herself. her
>> companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed
>> was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think
>> about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of
>> the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware
>> of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady
>> discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's bumper.
>> Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as
>> she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly
>> apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.
>>
>> Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she
>> answered her date's concerns about "what is taking so long" with a reply
>> that indeed, she was "freezing her butt off and in need of some
>> assistance!"
>>
>> He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and
>> then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She
>> too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves,
>> they assessed her dilemma.
>>
>> Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with
>> a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her
>> chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking about what had
>> gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized
>> that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other
>> way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants
>> and pee her butt off the bumper.
>>
>> As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Rove Live prize, hands
>> down... or perhaps that should be "pants down." .And you thought
>
>> your first date was embarrassing. Rove's comment .. "This gives a whole
>> new meaning to being pissed off."

dear emi

 

i just read a few of your blogs.. and u write such lovely things for and to me.  your such a lovely man.... and so stylish

 

you are such a joy to know.. you should come and visit. i miss you.

 

love ruru xoxo

 

 

 

hamburgers. dazza makes the worlds most enormous hamburgers. they are so damn big its hard to decide where to start.

 

im not exactly the worlds biggest eater either.. so half way through i had to accept defeat (and u no how i hate to accept defeat). ali was a legend though. she ate hers and the rest of mine. she ate all the boys under the table.

 

xm managed to struggle through his - but only cos ying ying ate all hers and well the shame of your little iddy biddy girl eating more than you .. would be too much i think

 

it was such a lovely night thou. food was good (and plentiful), company was great. peter one of my students came over and he spoke in english ... never heard him speak so much before. so damn proud of him.  henry came over too. such a cool guy. a pleasure to speak too.

 

happy happy happy.. .............yip i am happy............ like feeling this way. happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy happy

i am quite possibly the worlds worst connect four player... although to be fair ali is not much better. half the time i dont know when ive lost, or won for that matter. i woulda been embarressed 'cept ali had a similar problem.

 

it was so funny. had such a great time......at the 48 with ali.... playing a game that i am so bad at! at times i was even trying.. and i still sucked. good thing the company rocked.

 

had a beer and a half... felt like drinkin' the bar dry (not that i could.. being such a lightweight these days).  i came home instead... im such a very good girl!!!!

 

had such a laugh. and then more of a laugh. then giggled and giggled... on not much beer i can go straight to the 'happy place'. its funny. sometimes u dont realise what u have missed until you do it again. ive missed drinking at the bar with ali. just having a laugh and a chat and a wee drink...

 

she said its not as much fun at the bar without me either... we have such fun together. doing nothing or something but mostly doing nothing. im amazed how i never tire of her company - usually people bore me after a time. but not alice.. never!

 

i should find some more people to truely love and then i could write about them and not just her.

 

well to be fair i do truely love some others (members of the family that i chose)... but they not here... truely love u vixy, boydie, treen, anna bird, sashy (and of course all members of the family i was born too.. but that goes without saying). and then there is my chinese family.. of course i adore u as well.. lady, t, xm, gary, cherub, lei lei. joe, ying ying.......... so many people to love... and still i have room for some new people.......

 

my life is worth living cos your in my life (hope u reading this.. want u to know what u mean to me... u mean everything and more).

 

connect four.. what a stupid game. even worse than solitare. at least with solitare my inability to be successful is just between me and the computer. the boys at the bar nearly died laughing..... then they lost interest, cos we were so terrible.

 

oh.. on the matter of solitare. please dont worry about me in relation to that anymore. im still addicted - but sometimes i win now.

 

sending all my love to the near and the dear. may your lives be filled with nothing but joy and happiness. ill take the sadness for you - it is easier for me to bear when the sadness is mine (impossible when it is yours)

 

ruru xoxoox