there is a book titled women who do too much.. or something along those lines.  i didnt read it, i was too busy!

 

sometimes life is overwhelming. i dont know where the time goes. i sleep, i eat, i teach,i prepare, i spend time with my friends, my  boyfriend. but at the moment anything that requires thinking is too much.  well thinking about my plans anyway. i need to book flights, a holiday. i need to spring clean my house (before summer hits and its too late to officially call it spring cleaning lmao)

 

i am tired and a bit worn out. im getting run down. yet still i promise others i will do more....... but i have no more at the moment. yet still i try - bless me.

 

isi and ali and all the others are looking after me. anna, ronnie and ali excused me from dinner.. we had such lovely plans but i just couldnt. sometimes i think its so sad how we can let down those who care for us, but be totally present for others (like students). maybe its just easier to let down those who love us - they understand, they look after us and they wait for us to come back.

 

i had such a sore stomach before and now i have a headache. ive been asleep since 7.30 and its 12.30 now. ill go back to bed soon and get some more sleep. i have only four hours of class left - thank god. then its holidays. when i have some time to stop doing - i think the world will improve in general.

 

i write messages of love to my friends in these blogs. i say it to them too (in person). i think it is so important to let those you love - know that you love them. it is easier to do this for people who are here - physically. i love many others who i have been neglecting shamefully.

 

id tel you id make it up to you - but i guess i cant. but that doesnt mean i dont love you and think of you and wish you were here.

 

i miss my mum and dad. i miss aaron and caroline and treena and annabird. i miss boydie and vicki. my head is full of ache - i miss many others as well.  as soon as i have a moment im gonna send you emails to let you know how things are. i want to tell you about isi. he's such a joy in my life. i want to tell you about my friends and family in china. i write these blogs and hope you read them - to hear my news, my feelings, whats up with me.

 

to my helen. i love u. so very much. i feel very lucky to have u in my life - my friend, my sister, my very good friend. thanks for your help and support.

 

i feel tired and sleepy again. guess its time to go back to bed and wait for the day to start again. just four more hours. this is not a long time. its forever.... its something in between.

 

ruru