i thought that id have more time here in China. i thought at least another six months or so.. but i guess it isnt meant to be.  the university made the contract negociations so hard that i gave up and decided to go home instead of talking about it further. 

 

i think it will be a good move.  im sad. i wanted more time - in china and with my friends here. but going home doesnt feel like a punishment (which it did before).  i will be able to spend time with my friends and family in NZ and it will be easier to see isi... and for us to make plans for our life.

 

i will come back to china.. maybe in january of next year. that is not so far away. i will be able to see my friends and see some more of china.

 

i will also go to wales to see my annabird and her baby (i still cant believe that she is gonna be a mama in the next few months).

 

so im sad and im excited and im..... i dont even know. i only just changed my mind, my plans.

 

maybe i feel lost... a little. and now i gotta pack which makes me feel tired. but i feel excited too.. like something is starting. i guess every end allows a new beginning. so ill enjoy what is left and look foward to what is to come.